In our garden we have a Lenten Rose, it is the first plant to blossom, just before spring begins. Annually this plant gives me hope. It tells me that it is time to fast, it is time to walk in the footsteps of Christ, it is time to remember the gruesome death and the miraculous resurrection of our Savior. When Christ concurred death He did it to restore the relationship we broke in one bite. That bite brought all evil into the world. That bite made me a mere mortal who is need of patience. Patience-waiting-long suffering, I hate these virtues.
Last night I found my contempt for all things patience related. I was at Church singing, communal worship at it's finest. The worship team was on, the coffee was calming, the song selections were powerful, and they seemed to be centered around waiting. I was waiting for a song I felt like raising my hands to. I wanted to worship in this fashion, I longed to reach my hands to the sky and be heard by the Lord. But I did not want to praise Him while I wait. Let's sing, "let Your glory fall," "come, Spirit, come," "God in my waking," and "You are so good to to me." I desired to belt out bold statements about what God can do for ME. Yet, that was not what the songs were about, and I did not want to sing about waiting on God's timing or what I might need to do. Waiting is tough. Waiting seems wasteful. Waiting is not what the microwave has prepared me for. Waiting is when I often see that I need God the most. Waiting means I can not do it on my own. When I wait, it is usually because there is an outside force that must finish the job, like drying paint, seedlings breaking through the dirt, and my heart softening to God's will.
Oh how the Lenten rose reminds me of waiting, waiting for Salvation, waiting on God, waiting to celebrate the resurrection. As I wait I am learning to have joy and to worship even when I do not "feel" like it. Jesus beat death and defeated sin. That, I do not need to wait for.
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